All or Nothing: One For All

Saturday, June 28, 2008

One For All

I have a fairly complicated relationship with food. I typically enjoy cooking, I certainly albeit unfortunately enjoy eating, yet I never enjoy cleaning up after meals, or preparing 6 meals a day, or preparing one meal only to discover that no one wants to eat it. Therefore I am on a constant vigil to find meal options which require simple preparation yet generally please the palatte of our entire household population. That quest for simplification influences even my fast food selections. My drive thru window approach is to buy 1 value meal, Super Size it, request extra drink cups, and divide the spoils among my three girls. Ordering three separate kid's meals impedes my efficiency and annoys me. Happy Meals are a privilege reserved for when Daddy is at the order counter.

Yesterday while running errands I realized lunch time was rapidly approaching. Something about Mary jumping up and down in the checkout line at the library yelling, "I'm hungry I'm hungry I'm hungry I'm hungry . . ." must've alerted me. I considered my options. Returning home to fix lunch would inevitably exacerbate the problem by prolonging it's resolution, but the prospect of nuggets and fries (again) registered as unsatisfactory to my innate maternal nutrition monitor. I determined that an experiment with a new lunch option was in order.

We pulled up to Subway. After a censored description of the menu items and a briefing on expected behavior the girls consented to give it a shot. What choice did they have? I was already out of the car and they were already hungry. I stood in a lunch-rush sized line waiting to order while Madeleine and Beth pouted at a nearby table. Mary lay prostrate in protest on the floor behind me, blocking other customers from proceeding through the line. The moment I saw her on the floor was the precise moment I realized I did not have any hand sanitizer with me. Eventually I ordered one foot long sub on wheat bread with turkey, bacon, cheese, and lettuce, requested cups for water, and added 3 sugar cookies for leverage.

The girls had the wrapper torn off of the sandwich before I could fill their cups. They eagerly inspected their 1/3 of the sub while I observed. Madeleine took the cheese off of hers and ate the turkey, bacon, and lettuce. Beth took the lettuce off of hers and ate the turkey, bacon, and cheese. Mary took the lettuce and bread off of hers and ate the bacon and turkey and then rifled through my purse trying to find my lipstick. They all ate the sugar cookies. Everyone was happy. There you have it! One reasonably nutritious entree, readily modified to satisfy three individual appetites, at a relatively low cost/energy output. Ladies and gentlemen, lunch is served.

4 comments:

Amy said...: Congratulations! I always forget about Subway. It really is a great option, isn't it? I'm vastly impressed that you went IN to order your food. My girlies beg to go into restaurants to eat and I always refuse when I know they're really hungry. I like for them to be harnessed when they are ravashing.; June 28, 2008 at 8:44 PM
Lynnie said...: Ok, so Mary's booger comment is my favorite, but this post is my second favorite. Great job, I hope you let out a loud, "MEEEEEEEEE DIDIT!!!!!" Mom took me and the boys to Subway last week. I think you must be on the right track.; June 29, 2008 at 7:47 PM
Aimee said...: Hey Meredith, welcome to the blogging world! How fun to read about your adventures. Thanks!!; June 29, 2008 at 11:11 PM
Denise said...: Now, if you can find a Subway with a drive-thru window -- and in Utah -- land of the drive-thrus -- that should not be an issue -- your Mary problem will be solved. Ah, nothing like finding another working solution to the ever present problem of "kid hunger."; July 2, 2008 at 6:12 PM

Kid Quotes

1/2013 Gabe: "At school my teacher had a teeny, tiny Jack-in-the-box. It was so tiny I just wanted to kiss it, but my teacher said no kissing."
1/2013 Mary: "Can you take my temperature?" Mom:"Sure, let me find the thermometer." Mary: "There sure be an app for that."
1/2013 Madeleine(after spending time at the mall with a friend):"Shopping was fun, but being in H&M is more like being in prison than a store."
1/2013 Gabe(looking out the window as we drive): "The sky has a cloud shaped like a fish." Beth:"I have a fish shaped cookie in my pocket."
1/2013 Gabe(looking up at me solemnly): "No one knows I'm a superhero."
1/2013 Beth: " A kid in my class thought that the state of Utah was named after the basketball team. We had to explain that it was the other way around. We told him that Utah used to be called the territory of Deseret, but then they decided that would be a better name for a bookstore and named it Utah."
12/2013: (Doterra people will appreciate this) Getting ready to leave the house- Mom: "Come here Gabe. Let's get something on your feet." Gabe (lays down and sticks his feet in the air):" Oh, you mean like oils?"
12/2013 Beth was working on a penguin made of fondant to go with her gingerbread house. After her first attempt she said in disgust, "This does not look like a penguin. It looks like a flabbergasted peacock!"
12/2013 At a Christmas party Gabe couldn't seem to make up his mind what he wanted to participate in. Mom:"What do you want to do Gabe?" Gabe;"Go swimming." Mom: "It's too cold to go swimming." Gabe: "We could swim with our jackets on and wear our clothes over our swimsuits."
12/2013 Smash Burger is our favorite place for a good burger. We like the "Smash Fries" that are seasoned with rosemary and sea salt. Mary found her last order a bit bland and noted, "these fries don't have very much smash on them."
12/2013 Beth: "I wish Christmas was in January or February instead of at the beginning of winter. All of the fun comes first and then we're left with freezing mucky disgustingness for the rest of the time."
12/2013 Madeleine: My Science teacher drops the top two grades on every test and makes the third highest grade equal to 100% so we all get a few extra points. We should just all gets zeros and then we'd all get 100."
12/2013 We took advantage of the first snowfall and went sledding after school. Gabe and I were heading back up the hill and he offered to carry the sled. After two or three steps he said, "Let's carry it together mom. You can carry that end, and I can carry this end, and you can carry me."
11/2013 The kids were trying to negotiate some time to play around with their dad before bed. I finally conceded, "Alright, you get one minute and thirty seconds - go!" "Awwww," Mary responded, "But now dad can't yell TWO MORE MINUTES when the game is almost done!"
12/2013 (Tuesday morning after a week with a runny nose) Gabe:" Mom, my nose doesn't have boogers. It's because it's Saturday!"
12/2013 Gabe:"Mom, do you what in-struh-string means?" Mom:"Interesting?" Gabe;"Yeah, in-struh-string means Humpty Dumpty. That's what I think it means."
10/2013Beth:"Mom, I have to ask you a very serious question, but before I do you have to promise to tell me the truth. Mom: "Ok, I promise." Beth:"I'm trying to decided what to name my kids. What do you think of the name Trixie?"
10/2013 Madeleine: "I don't know what's up with my genetics teacher. No matter what we talk about in class it all comes back to sickle cell anemia!"
10/2013 After I made a comment about having grandchildren someday: Madeleine: "Don't talk about me having kids. It's weird." Beth:"I think about my kids." Mary: "I think about me."
10/2013 Gabe: "You know what I miss? An orange."
10/2013 Madeleine: I have a sticky eyeball in my pocket."
10/2013 Gabe, looking for his stuffed elephant: "Mary, I'm looking for Bo. Is it fine if I look under your head?"
10/2013 Beth: "It's definitely Halloween. My head is trying to suck my face in."
11/2013 Gabe:"Mom, I don't love you with a pony tail. Change it to just hair."
11/2013 Madeleine:"Gabe, do you need a diaper change?" Gabe:"The proper term would be, I need a shower."
11/2013 "What do you want to eat Gabe?" "Guatemala." "Um, do you mean guacamole?" "Yeah, that's it."
11/13 Beth: "I don't make the facts mom. I just state them."
12/2013 Usually when I go into Gabe's room in the morning I smile and say "Good morning!' and he smiles and says "Good morning" back. Today when I said good morning, he looked at me seriously and said, "I'm busy."
12/2012 I was visiting with a friend and she brought out a box of toys for Gabe to play with. He pulled a wooden block out of the box and after looking it over, he brought it to me and asked, "Will you turn this on for me?"
3/2013 Mom: "When your grandparents were little cars didn't have seatbelts." Beth; "yea, those were primitive times."
3/2013 It started hailing outside and Gabe went to the window to see what the noise was. He looked down on the garage rooftop and asked, "Are those ants playing soccer on my roof?"
3/2013 Mom: "Gabe, do you want to go to the store?" "Gabe: "I wish!" Mom: "So, you want to go?" Gabe: "You gotta believe me mom!"
3/2013 Our babysitter walked in and Gabe said, "Do you remember me? I'm Gabriel Sorenson?"
8/2013 Gabe's new nursery teacher at church: "What name should we call you? Do your parents call you Gabriel or do people call you Gabe?" Gabe: "My mom and dad call me Gabe, but my friends call me cuteness."
8/2103 Mom, getting Gabe up from a nap: "Hi Gabe. Would you like to go down and see your sisters?" Gabe:" No. They always try to drown me by kisses."
8/2013 Mary:"Have you ever played Slap Jack? It will change your life."
8/2013 Mary: "Yawning is awesome."
8/2013 Gabe came downstairs in his fuzzy pajamas and greeted us with a smile. Beth announced, "The cuteness has risen!"
8/2013 Mom: "I need to make a plan for dinners this week and Dad is going to be out of town. What is something you like to have for dinner that he doesn't like to eat?" Madeleine" Chicken noodle soup." Beth: "Frosting from the can."
7/2013 Mary stepped outside and yelled, "Gleech! The sun is attacking my face!"
7/2013 We boarded a wooden train and Gabe introduced himself as the conductor. He announced," There are four rules. First rule, no standing up. First rule, keep your hands and feet inside the train at the same time. First rule, when the ride is done, go home and eat your lunch. You can have a banana. Actually, I'm not sure about that."
7/2013 I was playing with Gabe on a wooden train when he pointed off in the distance and yelled, "Oh no! Lex Luther is on that train!" Mom: "What!! Lex Luther!?!?" Gabe:YES! Lex LUTHER!!" Mom:"What's HE doing here!?!?" Gabe, calmly looked off over my shoulder, "Oh, he's just standing there, having a drink."
I found some episodes of Superman cartoons on Netflix to help Gabe get his superhero fix for the day, and then I went to do the dishes. I heard Beth come in and say,"This is an OLD superman show. This must be the Superman that the pioneers watched."
Mom: "Gabe..." Gabe: "I'm not actually Gabe. I'm actually Superman."
Gabe: "Mom, take your finger off the mip." (still have no idea what a mip is)
6/2013 Mom: "Gabe, why aren't you playing outside?" Gabe: "The sprinklers are sprinking."
6/2013 Madeleine: "You know what's awesome? I can get altitude sickness 15 minutes away from my school!"
5/2013 Mary, talking to Beth (names have been changed to protect privacy:): "Who's Sam?" Beth: "Oh, he's just a boy I used to date. But I didn't marry him because I married John. Now that I think about it, by Kindergarten law we're still married." Madeleine:"You realize that when you start Middle School all Lower School marriages are automatically divorced, unless you fill out the legal paperwork."
5/2013 Mary: "My worst birthday party would be my pants fell off"
5/2013 Madeleine: "It would be cool to be a lawyer." Mary: "But you want to be a whaleiologist."
5/2013 Beth: "My friend tried to force me to have a crush on this boy. She couldn't have a crush on him because she is backed up on crushes."
5/2013 Luke, playing on the floor with Gabe: "Gabe, are trucks just the best?" Gabe: "No, you is the best Dad."
4/2013 A friend gave me some lipstick as a little gift and I tried out the new color. I hardly got past my bathroom door when Mary stopped me and asked, "Where are you going that requires brighter lipstick than usual?"
4/2013I wasn't feeling well so I laid on the couch while Gabe let himself out to play in the backyard. After a few minutes he came in and asked, "Don't you want to come know what I am doing?"
4/2013 Mom: "Mary, it's time to go to speech. Mary (groan): "If I'm ever a substitute teacher I'm going to introduce myself by telling something about me and I'm going to say 'the worst thing I ever did was go to speech'!"
4/2013 Gabe: "I went down the slide on my nose."
On a flight Luke and I were offered meat filled gnocchi. After dinner Luke commented, "That wasn't gnocchi. It was more like deranged meatloaf."
4/2013 Mom: "Beth, please choose a fruit or vegetable to have with your sandwich." Beth: I did. I'm having beans - jelly beans."
4/2013 Mom: "How was your day Madeleine?" Madeleine;"Well, history was the weekly teacher rant on society."
4/2013 At the dinner table I tried to help Mary pour soy sauce on her rice but she refused my help. Beth said:"Mom, you should know not to interfere with Mary and her soy sauce."
4/2013 Mary, limping across the family room: "My calcaneus hurts"
Gabe said he was scared that crabs would eat him. Beth replied, "Don't worry about that. Crabs won't eat you - you don't live in New Hampshire. That IS a real fear of kids there."
4/2013 Beth, after Gabe got his first haircut: "Mom! You de-cutified him!"
4/2013 Beth:"Beige is not a good color. It's just another name for dirty white."
4/2013 Gabe, in the garden with mom:"Will snails eat me?"
4/2013 Gabe:"Can I have a popsicle?" Mom: "No" Gabe:"Well, when will dad be home?"
4/2013 Beth:"You can't dance when you"re pregnant. Unless you have serious talent."
4/2013Gabe:"Mom, can I have a popsicle?" Mom: "No" Gabe (frowning): "You should speak kindly to me."
4/2012 On the way into the grocery store I asked Gabe what he wanted to buy. He answered, "Bananas." I asked him if he also wanted any bread, or eggs, or anything else. He just kept saying, "No, I want bananas." We got some bananas, and then
4/2012 Mary asked me why I never buy them a particular kind of snack. I answered because it wasn't whole grain. She groaned, "If it was up to you water would be whole grain!"
4/2012 Beth:"When you answer the phone and it's a telemarketer that asks to speak to your mom or dad, the best thing to do is just say 'sure! Just a minute..." and then hang up on them.
In first grade Mary spent her indoor recess playing games in the classroom. One day she said, "Mom, I played checkers again today and I almost won. I am learning, tips by tips."
12/12 Beth: I think I'm allergic to healthy food."
12/12 Madeleine: "My head hurts from the toilet."
1/13 We spent a week in California after Christmas, and then came back to record low temperatures in Utah. When we saw my dad after our trip he asked Beth, "Where's your tan?" She replied, "It froze off."
1/13 Gabe: "This is my coat. It goes over my arm pits."
1/13 Mom: "Gabe, you need to wear a coat." Gabe: "I need to ride in a big truck."
1/13 Gabe bit into his first dairy free pizza and smiled, "This pizza is happy for my tummy!"
1/13 A neighbor gave us a box of Twinkies for Christmas. As Beth bit into the now extinct confection she sighed, "Mmmmmm. Chemical heaven!"
1/13 Mom: "You know what goes good with soup?" Beth: "Twinkies!"
1/13 Beth wanted to give seafood a try so we had a lunch date at Red Lobster. As she opened and closes a crab claw she said, "I decided playing with crab is better than eating it."
1/13 Mary:"How does your stomach growl? It doesn't have a monster in it."
2/13 Luke consistently wears a white shirt and tie to church, but when we were in Hawaii he ended up wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt to church. He felt a little underdressed as all the white shirts and ties walked in. After a minute I whispered, "If it makes you feel better there is another brother wearing a blue shirt. " He replied, " I feel fine. There is another brother wearing a blue skirt."
2/13 Beth was supposed to be doing the dishes when I heard a whack, followed by a shout, and then Gabe went running by carrying the broom. A moment later Beth appeared and said, "I was trying to do my chore when I was viciously attacked by a territorial monster!"
2/13 Beth: "Parents never talk about anything reasonable."
2/13 Beth: " A girl in my class wore a pink shirt with her uniform and my teacher didn't say anything. I was utterly shocked!"
2/13 Madeleine:"Every time I write 'constitution' I think I spelled it wrong. It feels weird to write a word with three T's in it."
1/13 Mary: "You know what I think is sad? On Bob the Builder they only use the cement truck once."
1/13 Madeleine: "I think neurology would be a neat thing to study, except brains smell really bad."
4/12 Mary, pointing to a picture on the internet:"Mom, can you buy me this make-up kit? It has lots of lipsticks." "No Mary. That kit is really expensive. You'll have to wait until your birthday or something." Mary slumps her shoulders and leaves the room. After a minute she comes back in and asks quietly, "Mom, if you buy me that make-up kit for my birthday, will we have enough money left to survive?"
12/12 Madeleine: "Adults seem to always take the complicated way ."
12/12 After we got home from Christmas shopping Mary helped me make lunch, but despite repeated summonings, her sisters did not come to eat. I told her that they were just trying to wrap and hide their gifts and they'd be down soon. I told her not to worry- just let them enjoy their Christmas preparations. Mary said, "They can survive without Christmas. They can't survive without food." After several minutes when they still weren't down she said, "One of the themes of Christmas is eating."
12/12 Beth:"Geese are not like chickens. If you try to take an egg from a goose to eat it, that goose is going to eat you!"
12/12 Mary, reassuringly and with a very white face: "I'm not sick. I had a makeup problem."
12/12 Beth, wiping off the counter:"Someday they'll make countertops out of carpet and they'll be soft. Then when your guests come over you won't have to pull out the air mattress. They can just sleep on the kitchen island."
9/12 Beth:"Mom, it's a proven fact that giving kids candy helps them do their homework."
9/12 Madeleine, home sick: "I feel like I got cooked in the microwave. My outside is burning up and my inside is frozen."
12/12 Beth: This year Dad's birthday is 12-12-12. Too bad he's not turning 12."
12/12 Mary, watching Gabe go running through the family room:"He's like a big battery."
12/12 Beth:"I don't want to die with socks on."
12/12 Mary: You know what I think is gross? That your taste buds fall off and then you swallow them with your food. One time my taste bud got stuck in my tooth and it was gross and I couldn't taste anything with that tooth."
12/12 Madeleine"I keep dreaming about stealing butter from the dining hall."
11/12 Anonymous: "I like to do cartwheels naked because then nothings brings me down."
10/12 Mary: "I can't decide if I want to be a teacher or a janitor when I grow up. I want to be a teacher but janitors have their own mops, AND they're allowed to use cleaning spray. I KNOW - I'll be a cleaning teacher!"
9/12 We were at a friends house and Gabe was exploring their toys. He brought me some stacking cups, held them out and asked, "turn on?"
11/12 Luke found a tack on the floor and when he pointed it out Mary burst into this little song:"It's a tic-tac, tic-tac, tic-tac but without the tic 'cuz it's just a tack..."
8/12 We passed a man with unusually large ears and Mary whispered loudly, "That guys ears are HUGE!" I said, "Mary, don't say things like that, not even in a whisper." "Oh right," she agreed, "because HE could hear me."
11/12 TV Character:"Christmas isn't about what you get, it's about what you give." Mary:"Actually it's about Baby Jesus' birthday."
11/12 Gabe and I were waiting in the doctor's office for the doctor to come in. When he walked in and greeted Gabe, Gabe slumped over in his seat, closed his eyes, and pretended to snore. After a few seconds he popped up and yelled, "I'm awake!"
11/12Beth:"Why is it such a big deal to people how their food tastes? Animals don't care."
11/12 Mary:"Dad, did you know I lost my tooth on your honeymoon?" (it feel out while we were out to dinner on our anniversary)
11/12 When I get Gabe out of bed in the morning he usually grins at me and says "hello mom," or "good morning." Yesterday when I went to get him he looked up at me seriously and said, "I'm busy."
11/12 Mary:"Why do they call it seafood and not ocean food? And why do they call it lobster? Why don't they call them red pinchy things? What's the Latin word for lobster anyway?"
11/12 Beth:"Why does everything that says 'Happy Thanksgiving' have turkeys on it? Turkeys don't wish for a Happy Thanksgiving. Turkeys wish Thanksgiving didn't exist."
11/12 Mary: "Mom, can we play 20 questions?" Mom; "Ok. Is it a person?" "No." "Is it a thing?" "Yes." "Is it lipstick?" "Yes".
(names have been omitted to protect privacy) "In our tent one of the rules was no one could say 'fart.' " 'What?" "Like if someone farted no one could say anything about it." "Really? They couldn't even say fart? What if they said it like this? (skewing the word from the corner of their mouth). "No, you couldn't say it" "Hmm. Well, maybe if they were talented they burp the word fart. If they were REALLY talented they could fart the word burp!"
8/11 We passed an irrigation ditch and Mary noticed the sides of the road were wet. She asked,"What did they do, levitate the farm?"
11/12 Driving past a construction site one morning the girls noticed a worker leaning against the wall, eating a steaming breakfast burrito on a cold morning. When he doused it with hot sauce Mary asked, "What is that he's putting on his food?" "Hot sauce" "What? (looks closely for a moment) "OH MY GOSH! It's so hot it made his food smoke!! Don't eat it, DON'T EAT IT!"
11/12 Beth: "Grown-ups never cry. Not when they get hurt, or get shots, or even when they get tattoos!" Mary: "They only happy-cry."
10/12 Madeleine:"Anybody who's anything used to be on Barney."
11/12 Mary, standing in the doorway with her hand cupped around her mouth:"His Royal Highness the King of Cuteness will be making his grand entrance soon."
11/12 Mom: "Awww, come here baby." Gabe:"I not a baby." Mom: "Oh. Sorry Gabe." Gabe: "I a puppy."
11/12 Mom:"I wonder, how would the pioneers keep their milk and cream from spoiling?" Beth:"They would keep it in the cow!"
9/12 Beth:"A boy in my class has fifty first aid kits in his cubby. His parents are very cautious."
8/11 Mary, telling her dad about getting her eyes dilated at the eye doctor, "My pimples were HUGE!"
Mom:"Mary, what's all over you?" Mary: "The marker drew on me."
8/11 Overheard being cooed to Gabe, "You are a fuzzy ball of joy," and "You are heaven all over again."
8/11 Beth:"it would be weird to be younger than your parents."
2/11 Madeleine: Gabe is more like a toy than a puppy because it's like you can turn him off."
8/11 Beth;"For my 16th birthday could I have a cat or a car?" (The answer is no to both:)
8/11 Beth: "I don't know why but I'm always saddling horses in my head."
8/11 While we were visiting in Boston we stayed at the Parker House Hotel. I was pretty excited about it but Mary was unimpressed. After checking out the bathroom she declared, "This hotel is boring. It only has three bar soaps."
7/11 We were waiting in a hot parking lot when the girls noticed a snow cone shack and asked for a treat. I said I didn't think I had enough cash to get one for everybody and Beth asked, "How much is it for a snow cone? "Two dollars a piece." Pause. "Well how much for the whole slushy?"
7/11 Gabe was playing with the Little People doll house. He kept moving the mommy doll around the house and narrating as he went, "Mommy eat" (moving the doll to the kitchen)'Mommy night-night" (laying the doll on the bed) "Mommy bonk" (repeatedly bashing the mommy into the side of the house)
7/11 Beth: "There are no kids meals in California so all the children there grow up eating lobster."
7/11 Mary, while brushing her hair, "Curls are my nemesis."
7/11 Madeleine:"Plankton are never safe."
7/11 Mary: "Protein bars are not as good as candy bars. They do have chocolate on the outside, but you can still taste the healthy in them."
5/11 Mary: "What's mature?" Beth" Mature means you're not crazy"
5/11 Mary's favorite restaurant is a Japanese steak house where they cook the food in front of you. She loves the silk kimonos the servers wear, and one time we saw several high school couples there dressed for a formal dance, so she thinks it is a very fancy place. I was wearing some new silk, flowered pajamas and when she saw them she exclaimed, "Ooooo mom! You look so pretty!" And added earnestly, " You could wear those to Tepanyaki!"
4/11 Mary: "You'd better let me have a look at that. I have younger eyes."
4/11 Beth:"Gabe is better than a million puppies. Besides, he can talk to you, he won't pee on the carpet - not that much , and he's going to live longer than a dog."
4/11 Mary: "Wouldn't it be cool if people found out they could fly because they have fingers?""
4/11 "Do you know what a reef is?" Beth:"I know. We hang one on our door at Christmas."
11/11 Beth: "If oranges didn't have seeds in them, they'd be easier to eat." Madeleine:"If oranges didn't have seeds in them, there'd be no more orange trees." Mary:"If oranges didn't have seeds in them, they'd be vegetables."
11/12 Driving to school the kids got a kick out of a bumper sticker that said,"Your car is not a restaurant, a salon, or a phone booth." I asked, "Do you guys even know what a phone booth is?" "Sure," Beth replied, "It's where Superman changes." Then she added, "Although I don't know why he'd want to change in there since the walls are clear!"
Beth: "People say if you have faith you can do anything but you can't. You can't fly. Well, you can when you're dead and you're an angel. But you can't...teach your dog to talk. No, you can't do that. Then your dog would have to have the faith."
11/11 Beth:"Coffe is a cup of caffeine with bitter in it."
9/2012 Beth:"If you're going to travel to a country where you don't speak the language there are two very important things you need to learn to say: where's the bathroom, and can I please buy some ice cream?"
5/2012 Madeleine:"Ever since we learned about native grasses in biology a kid in my class is obsessed with them. My teacher says it's ok though - only obsessed people get anything done."
5/2012 Beth:"I don't mind getting sick now and then because you get to stay home, but I wouldn't want to have leprosy."
Madeleine: "I don't bite my thumb nails because I need them for art."
5/2012 Beth: "It woud be good if there were zombies. Then you could meet you ancestors."
6/2012 On an outing Gabe wouldn't stay in his stroller. Looking for help I asked, "Beth, would you like to take Gabe on a walk without the stroller?" "EEEEEooooooow," Beth grimaced, "That's quite a challenge."
6/2012 Gabe really likes to hang out in his sister's room and help himself. When Mary walked in and saw a mess he left in his wake she sighed, "Oh man." Beth retorted, "Oh Little Man is more like it!"
6/2012 (In the car and totally fed up with the girls bickering) Mom: Don't talk anymore until we get home. Madeleine: Yeah! STOP talking. Beth: YOU stop talking. Madeleine: You're not allowed to talk to me! Beth: YOU'RE not allowed to talk to ME! Madeleine: You're not supposed to be talking. Beth:You talked to me first. Mom: You're STILL talking!
In a shop FULL of flowers, trinkets, jewelry, and clothes Mary exclaims,"Is that SOAP!! I just want to look at the soap."
6/2012 Beth:"Mary, when you're a famous singer, promise me you'll say something about Gabe in the lyrics of every song." Mary:"Uh, no thanks. I'm not going to take you up on that promise." Beth: "DO it Mary! Swear an oath!!"
6/2012 When Mary got new shoes Beth blurted, "How come she can get new shoes but I can't get a pink ukulele?!?"
6/2012 Mary spotted a pair of sparkling gold sequin shoes with silk bows that she HAD to have. When she asked for them I said, "Mary, I was planning to get you a pair of sturdy play shoes." "But mom," she replied,"that's just not me."
5/2012 When Madeleine was working on her scuba certification our whole family went to swim in the Heber Crater while she was passing off her skills. We were watching for her to ascend, but when we couldn't see her Mary suggested, "Look for her golden locks."
7/2012 Mom:"Eat your green beans." Beth:"I only like the artificially flavored kind of green beans."
8/2012 Wisdom from Beth: "You should never date someone unless you know how old they are."
8/2012 Beth tends to suffer from nighttime anxiety. To cope with it we encourage her to take a deep breath, find a positive thought, and focus on that until she falls asleep. When we got our class lists Beth was thrilled that her 4th grade teacher is Mrs. Johnson. The morning after our class lists came out she came downstairs smiling. Mom:"Did you sleep well Beth?" "Really well. My positive thought was Mrs. Johnson."
8/2012 Mary: "You know what I always think? Old women are good at making cookies."
8/2012 Mary had a sliver in her finger that got infected. As she inspected the blister surrounding it she was curious about it. Mary:"What's all that white stuff?" Beth:"it's puss. It's really bad for you, so don't eat it."
8/20 We had a great family outing to Lagoon and got soaked on the Rattle Snake Rapids. As we walked away, dripping Mary stated, "Well, that ride taught us a wet lesson!"
8/2012 Beth had two little sore spots on the end of her nose. She was perplexed, wondering what they were. When I suggested they might be small pimples she was aghast and exclaimed, "What?! Twin zits, at my age?!"
9/2012 Mary was home from school with a very sore throat and a fever. For breakfast she had ice cream, followed by a snack of hot cocoa. Around lunch time she said, "Mom, I don't mean to get all sugared up but a popsicle would sure feel good."
9/2012 (Before we left for the day) Mom: "Mary, are you ready to go?" Mary: "Let's see, I've got my shirt on, my pants on, and my emergency lipstick in my pocket. Wait! Do I have it? Yes. Good thing, cuz that's the most important part!"
8/2012 As the Safari Train at Lagoon passed a sleek, black panther Mary asked, "Why don't they have a pink panther?"
Gabe only has a few words but he still communicates. The other day I went downstairs and he didn't follow me. After a minute I called up, "Gabe, what are you doing?" He came to the top of the stairs and excitedly pantomimed that he had been splashing in the toilet.
Madeleine: "12 is the age where people start to take you seriously. I know. I've tested it.
6/12 Madeleine recently certified in scuba diving, which meant we needed to drive to Heber so she could dive in the Homestead crater. On the way we had a long time to talk. At one point she stated, "I think it would be awesome to be a moose. You'd have so much less to worry about."
6/12 Mary had a loose tooth that took it's time coming out. Finally she pulled it, and the next morning when I sent her off to school she said, "I hope I won't be too much of a distraction since my tooth fell out."
11/11 We made a last minute run to have some family pictures taken for Christmas cards. We were supposed to shoot outside but it snowed that morning so at the last minute we moved inside the Salt Lake City Library. Beth was very disgruntled as she surveyed the new location. She kept insisting that the background would be too distracting to make a good picture. When we went upstairs to an unoccupied corner she conceded,"I guess this is a pretty good place to take pictures. There IS really good light in here."
5/12 Mary's hair is long enough now to braid in back. She has been sleeping with it braided, and the other morning as she took out her braid she said,"You know why I like to have my hair braided? Because when you take it out it looks like Taylor Swift!"
4/14/2012 Now that my parents are living in Utah, Beth and Mary were voicing their concern that we will never visit Maryland again since we don't have anyone to visit there. I reminded them that my sister is still there, and I said, "Besides, if she moves we can always visit Washington D.C." Beth:"Why would we go there?" Mom: "Because, there's lots of famous things to see." Beth:"Mom, the good things in life are never famous."
2/12 Beth watched Gabe take a tissue from the box, wipe his nose, and walk over and put the tissue in the trash can. She shook her head with a smile and sighed with admiration, "Genius!"
Mary: "How old will Gabe be when I am 18?" Mom: "When you're 18 Gabe will be 13. He'll be in Middle School, and you'll be in High School." Mary, matter-of-factly:"Yes, and I'll be a famous singer by then."
11/11 I was doing Mary's hair and decided it was still a little too damp. I grabbed the hair dry and gave it a quick dry. Mary sputtered, "You should tell someone before you blowfly them in the face!"
11/11 Luke nuzzled Beth teasingly with his stubble and Beth complained, "Your chin is sharp!" Mary commented "Not as sharp as Doffenshmirtz's" (charachter from their favorite show, Phineas and Ferb)
12/11 Gabe was only wearing a diaper and Beth was helping him play on his slide in the family room. She was very nervous about letting go of him so he could go down on his own. When I told her she didn't need to worry so much she said, "but his skin is too skinish. He goes down too fast.".
1/12 Beth: "Gabe is not a bright spark of cuteness. He is an EXPLOSION!"
1/12 Mary came up and asked me to start a movie for her on the system in the basement. I said I would in a minute, and then I forgot and went and did something else until she came back and reminded me. A few days later her cousin was over and they wanted to watch a movie. I was doing the dishes when Mary came and asked me to put it on. I said I would as soon as I got my hands dry. On her way downstairs she called out, "Don't forget to come put the movie on. Write it down or something!"
12/31/11 Our neighbors gave us some Martinelli's for Christmas and I told the kids we would save it for New Year's. I forgot about it, but on New Year's Eve I told the kids we were going to celebrate with their cousins and Beth asked, "Oh! Can we have the sizzling cider?"
1/12 I made a new oatmeal recipe that had raisins and apples in it. Beth took one look and refused to eat it beacuse she was convinced the raisins were black olives. The more we tried to persuade her to eat it the more certain she was that they were olives and we were trying to trick her. Later I said I was going to make a different kind with peaches in it. She said, "Good. And this time don't put fake olives in it."
6/11 Beth was sitting on the couch and Gabe was playing on the floor when I walked in to the family room. After a second Beth said, "Would you move over please? You're disrupting my Gabe-gazing."
1/12 Madeleine was playing with Gabe and was enthralled watching him retrieve a ball out from under the dryer. When he pulled it up and cheered she mused," What do people do with themselves if they don't have a Gabe?"
1/12 Madeleine was working on vocablularly words and exclaimed,"Dyselxia is such a pain! There are some letters that I always mix up even when I KNOW which one to use. Like C and K. I always confuse those, like if you ask me to spell cat I'll say C-A-T. Wait - oh man, now I'm really confused."
2/11 I made lasagna for dinner for the first time in a long time. When Beth came to the table she wrinkled up her nose and refused to eat. Mary encouraged cheerily, "Try it Beth. It doesn't taste as bad as it looks."
2/11 Beth: "I don't like to wear T-shirts with words on them. I don't want to be an advertisement."
12/11 Mary handed Gabe a plastic recorder and he put it in his mouth and blew on it, making a squeak. "MOM," Mary yelled, "Did you hear that? He has a little musical brain!"
12/11 Madeleine: "Doesn't Grandma have a crapple tree?"
10/11 Mom: "Beth, will you please do what I say the first time I ask you!? I'm starting to feel like a broken record." Beth: "What's a broken record?"
12/10/11 Madeleine knocked her hand hard on the underside of the table during dinner. She was whimpering and rubbing her knuckle as she muttered about the "dumb table." Mary chided, "You should be glad it's there. If it wasn't you would've punched yourself in the face."
12/10/11 "Mary, have you brushed your teeth?" "Well, I can't brush my teeth because my tooth brush exploded."
12/10/11 Mom: "What are you doing today Beth?" Beth (9 years old), "i'm having a really bad hair day so I don't feel much like going out anywhere."
11/13/11 Writing about Mary's breakfast reminded me of the time when she was three and I made breakfast sandwiches. She took out the egg and threw it on the floor. Then she took out the ham and ate it. Then she threw the English muffin on the floor. When I asked why she ate the ham and threw everything else on the floor she said sternly, "Because, I like MEAT."
11/13/11 Conversation with Mary when I woke her up today: Mary," I am hungry for breakfast!" Mom, " OK, what would you like?" Mary, "A feast!" Mom, "Umm, of what?" Mary, "alfredo pasta, pepperoni pizza, and Oreo dessert pizza." She settled for fried eggs, sausage, and toast:)
10/11 Beth" The boys have this game Mighty Midgets where they tuck their knees up under their shirts and hobble around and try to grab girls and knock them over when they walk by. The thing is the girls don't want to play, but they keep getting hit. It's just violent!"
09/11 Mary: "Who invented chicken?'
1/15/11 While driving in the car Beth asked, "Mom, would it be ok if for my next birthday party I put on the invitation that, instead of bringing a gift for me, everyone should bring a gift to give to someone who doesn't have a lot of things? I have a lot, and I'm starting to run out of things to ask for!" I told her I thought that would be a great idea. Mary listened closely and then said quietly, "For my next birthday just put on there for everyone to bring me lipstick."
1/10/11 Mary was looking forward to a long awaited play date. The night before she added in her prayers, "and please bless that I won't be late for my play date..." The next morning when it was nearly time to leave she asked me if I would come play school with her (her favorite game). I answered, "Well, I'd like to but if we play school now we might be late for your play date. " She immediately replied with a serious face, "Oh, I blessed for that." and went directly to the car.
1/20/11 Beth was up late reading "Heidi" and told me all about it the next morning. She exclaimed, "I couldn't stop reading it - it was just so magical! And I already knew the story because I saw it in dog-version."
2/6/11 Mary ( at dinner): "Does soy have soy in it?" (later differentiating between teriyaki sauce and soy sauce) "I don't want the sauce that looks like soy sauce and tastes mostly like soy sauce. I want exactly soy sauce."
11/2010 My parents were visiting and the topic of Halloween costumes came up. My dad teased that for Halloween he wore his "Grandpa Dave" costume. Beth retorted, "Good luck getting out of your Grandpa Dave costume!"
11/2010 Beth (while begrudgingly doing homework) "Hey, I've been in school for 5 years, but I'm only in the second grade. How does THAT work?"
11/2010 Madeleine was holding Gabe and cooing about how soft and warm he is. Then she looked up and asked, "Is a baby's normal temperature the same as a humans'?"
8/12/10 Mary was complaining from the back seat and I told her to relax and just be grateful for what you have, Beth added, "Unless you have dyslexia!"
1/26/11 Mary (on her way out the door) "See 'ya later Gaber-gator."
1/24/11 For Family Night I was recapping our Sunday School lesson, which spoke of being "Pure in Heart." We talked about having good intentions, using clean language, and having faith in Jesus Christ as part of having a pure heart. Beth commented, "It's really more like having a pure mind, 'cause I can't think with my heart. I can pump blood from it...but that's really all I can do with it."
Mary really likes Taylor Swift's music, which is not my favorite. I get uneasy wondering what kind of ideas she's getting from the songs. For example, in the song "Our Song" Taylor sings about sneaking out late to meet her boyfriend and talking on the phone late at night "when your Momma don't know." Hmmm. I realized I didn't need to worry quite so much when, after hearing the refrain sing, "and when I got home, 'for I said "amen" asking God if He could play it again..." Mary asked me "Why would she tell 8 men who gotta pee to play it again?"
1/12/11 Mary:"Mom, how is Gabe going to learn to talk?" Mom: "He'll hear the words you say and he'll learn to use the same words." Mary: "Well, he probably won't learn a lot of French words because I don't usually speak French to him."
2/1/11 Beth (saying good-bye to Gabe in the morning): "Good-bye king of extraordinary handsomeness."
1/30/11 Mary: (while playing school and planning PE class) "Umm, pretend Gabe is a bowling pin..."
1/31/11 (while scrolling through pictures of Gabe on my phone) Beth gushed: "Madeleine, if you scroll through these you'll be in a world of cuteness!!"
1/31/11 Beth: "My teacher is really forgetful. Sometimes that's ok because she forgets to get me in trouble."
10/15/10 Madeleine is studying states and capitals and was busy labeling the States on a blank map. Suddenly she exclaimed, "Arkansas is a state?! I thought is was in someplace like Asia or something."
10/10/10 While visiting Gabe and I at the hospital, Beth sat looking at the mountains out the window and identified several different landforms for her dad. She pointed out a canyon, a peak, and a plateau. Impressed, her dad commented,"Wow Beth. I don't think many second graders know what a plateau is." She replied, "Actually all of them do. We had a meeting about it on Friday."
11/3/10 Because Beth just turned 8 she will be baptized and confirmed an official member of our church this Saturday. There is always a short program before the baptism itself where people give prayers, share some thoughts, and usually have a musical number. I will be speaking briefly and I haven't planned what to say yet. I asked Beth what she thought I should say at her baptism and she replied, "Mom, I"m the one getting baptized. I don't have any experience."
11/2/10 Mom: "Mary, are you going to buy lunch at school or bring your lunch from home today?" Mary: "I'm going to bring it from home. Tomato soup is not my style."
10/30/10 Beth and a friend were in the car when we were slowed by some traffic and the following conversations ensued: Beth:"I think I should use a spell to make our car fly up over all this traffic. Or maybe a spell for a magic carpet to fly us over it." Friend:"You'd have to use a spell for a magic carpet with a roof so we would'nt get rained on." Beth:"Hmmm. I don't think I have one of those." A little further down the road: Friend:"How do you get to use magic?" Beth: "Oh, you have to have permission from the Spirit of Magic. And he has to check on a few things like how old you are, whether or not you have a broomstick, and if you've got your birth certificate..."
9/20/10 The past few years I've made a bunch of freezer jam but this year I didn't get to it, and our supply from last year just ran out. I bought some strawberry jam and sent Mary to school with peanut butter and jelly in her lunch. When she got home she informed me she couldn't eat her sandwhich because, "That kind of jam tastes like rotten."
6/1/10 All the girls love to swim at the rec center during the winter months. Once when we were there, Mary went down the water slide before I got to the top of the steps to go down with her. The lifegaurd had to jump in and pull her out. I decided to take her swimming for a "mommy date" right before school ended. I was surprised that she was reticent to go, until she said, "This time bring a life jacket for the water slide because I don't want to get pulled out by a hairy swimmer again."
10/29/10 Mary had to read some nursery rhynes for homeowrk and she came up with this version of her own: " Wee Willie Gabe ran through town, upstairs and downstairs in his Gabe-gown. Rapping at the windows, crying through the lock, 'Are all the children in their beds? Now it's Gabe-o-clock!' "
10/26/10 Mary: "I wish Gabe didn't have to grow up. Why can't he just stay small?" Mom: "That's what we all said about you Mary, but you got big anyway." Mary: "Yea, but Gabe is cuter than me."
10/28/10 While working on story problems with Beth for homework; Mom:"Beth, what strategy would you like to use to figure out the answer to this problem?" Beth: "The easiest one!"
6/15/10 Mary was standing at the side of the pool, preparing to do a cannon ball. Pretending to be one of her favorite storybook characters she yelled, "The Pig is jumping in!!!" Then she pointed to me and stated, "The Elephant is already in the pool."
5/20/10 Beth is very anxious for her baby brother to be born. Last night she was kissing my tummy and said, "I wish he would come out so I can hold him. Why does it have to take so long?" I empathisized,"I know it feels like such a long time, but once he gets here he'll be here for your whole life!" "Yes," she reasoned, "but someday I'll be sorry about that!" (She is convinced anyone over the age of 4 is inevitably annoying)
5/16/10 I was talking to my brother Tim on the phone and he asked what we are going to name our baby. When I said I didn't know he suggested, "How about George Strait?" When I said no he offered, "Rascal Flatts?"
5/11/10 Mary: "These grapes smell like rotten cows. Actually they smell like rotten grapes, but rotten grapes smell deeper than rotten poop. And why do these flowers smell like rotten mozzarella cheese?"
5/9/10 Mary picked up my Ipod and started scrolling through the Hannah Montana songs. "Mary, "i reminded her,"It's Sunday so we listen to quiet music. " "OK mom, "she replied. Then she selected her favorite Hannah song, turned it way down and asked, "Is that quiet enough?"
5/5/10 Mary, while still in bed in the morning,"Why do they have to make it pitch black in the movies? Cuz' that makes it really hard to see your grown-ups."
5/1/10 Beth:"After the baby comes we won't have to give Mary everything she wants because she won't have cutie powers anymore."
4/18/10 Mary came in wearing an eclectic outfit and asked, "Do I look pretty with the sweater on, or do I look pretty with the sweater off and just the dress on?" Beth cooed, "Oh Mary, you'd look pretty even if you just had your underwear on." Madeleine muttered, "Don't give her any ideas..."
4/15/10 One liners from Mary today; (while driving home from school) "What did you do at school today Mary?" "We did what we do." (When I saw her standing in the hall outside her dad's office door) 'Do you need help with something Mary?" "No, I just need to show Dad what the heck something is." (When she asked me to play Barbies with her) 'I'm sorry, I can't right now. I have to help your sisters with their homework." "They're already smart enough." (When contemplating the idea that Miley Cyrus will no longer be Hannah Montana) "Does Tennessee still exist?" (As she changed into play clothes to go to the park) "I'd better put some lipsticks in my pocket, just in case." (while swinging on swings at the park) "I know why we don't need to eat in heaven. Because we're already full from down here. Besides, Jesus never eats." (After I complimented my little nephew for his "trick" on the monkey bars) "Mom, don't go getting impressed by another baby." I wonder what she'll come up with tomorrow...
4/11/10 Mary crawled in bed by me early yesterday morning and asked, "Since it's almost morning can we play 20 questions?" I mumbled, "if I guess the right answer can I go back to sleep ?" "No," she decided, "That won't be an option."
4/8/10 In the restroom at a Indian restaurant Mary was very impressed with how "fancy" the bathroom was. She even felt badly for all the people who didn't come in and use it since they missed out on how fancy it was. When it was time to wash hands she insisted that I not help her with the soap dispenser. She stated, "I want to catch the soap by myself so I can wash my hands like a woman does."
4/2/10 Mary:"Do kisses show more love than hugs? Oh yeah, they do because kisses leave you a little bit of slobber."
3/22/10 "Mary, do you need a tissue?" "Yes. It's like a booger storm in my nose!"
3/28/10 When our neighbor congratulated Mary on becoming a big sister and asked what she thought about her mom having a baby Mary replied casually, "We're pretty interested in a boy."
3/20/10 Mary sauntered through the family room with her hands behind her back and I busted her trying to sneak cookies out of the kitchen. Beth commented, "Over the years I've learned that if you put your hands behind your back sooner or later people figure out where you put the thing you're trying to hide."
3/19/10 Beth was reviewing spelling words this morning, "People: P-E-O-P-L-E, please: P-L-E-A-S-E." Then she leaned over and, with her cheek against my tummy, she looked up at me and spelled, "B-O-Y" We'll see!
3/18/10 (My kids are on a roll today) I just told Mary to go brush her teeth and she wailed, "MOM! I can't do EVERYTHING for you!!" Then I asked, "Well, have you been to the bathroom yet?" "Yes," she muttered, "If you go look in the toilet you can probably see!!"
3/18/10 Now Beth just walked in and announced, "I have an important message for someone NOT you!" Then she leaned her head against my tummy and hummed the hymn,"Dearest Children, God Is Near You," to the baby.
3/18/10 Beth:"At recess my friend said she was bored so I said,'If you're really bored you can tickle my feet.' So she did and I started laughing and then she started laughing because she always does whatever I do. Then I told my teacher and she laughed so hard she complained her sides hurt - and now you're laughing!"
3/18/10 Still chatting about school Beth stated,"Some of the kids in my class act soooo not smart, half the time I think they're not wearing any underwear!"
3/18/10 Beth came home very chatty today. She burst in announcing,"I got a new book today and it is exactly extraordinary! I need you to read it to me. I was reading it to myself but I forgot what it said because I was disturbed by an absolutely ugly Hannah Montana song!"
3/18/10 Madeleine was looking at all of the flower shoots in the yard and she observed,"It seems like we have more daffodils than we did last year." I explained that she was right; we do have more because the flower bulbs split and grow more flowers. She remarked, "Oh right, like how the baby grows by splitting cells."
3/18/10 Today I took Mary swimming and noticed that her eyes were red when we got home. I told her her to lay down and I would bring her some cucumber slices to put on her eyes to help them feel better. She went to the couch and called out, "And can you turn on the TV so I can listen to it while I am having my pickle eyes?"
3/18/10 Luke tells me that when I am queasy I get very, very quiet and that it's really strange:) I guess Mary feels the same way. Yesterday I picked her up from school, had lunch with her, and we laid on the couch watching TV for awhile. I took a phone call, and when I got off she hugged me with a big smile and said, "Oh mom, it's sooo nice to hear you speak again!"
3/17/10 Beth:"A boy at school trusted me with a VERY important secret today.(whispering) His favorite color is pink."
3/10/10 While on vacation we went out to eat, and Mary asked for spaghetti with meatballs and eggs and bacon. I explained that she couldn't have them all together - she had to choose either spaghetti with meatballs or eggs with bacon. She said,"Just tell them to bring them to me all together." When I said they wouldn't do that, her eyes got teary and her chin quivered as she whimpered, "Mom, I only like restaurants that let you have spaghetti and meatballs WITH eggs and bacon!"
3/1/10 Mary's room was a colossal disaster and we spent quite a while this morning cleaning it up. As she went to bed tonight I commented, "isn't it nice to have your room all picked up Mary?" "Well," she countered, "It's nice, but it's easier to find things when it's messy because you just step on something and you're like, 'oh, there it is!'."
3/1/10 Beth was trying to convince me that she did NOT need to do her dyslexia tutoring today. "Mom," she argued, "There is not going to be a time in life where you have to read something or die."
2/22/10 Overheard while the girls are playing together, Madeleine's Barbie says to the others,"Do you have allergies? Because if you do we may have cornflake problems."
2/22/10 Mary: "Mommy, will you play Barbies with me?" Mom: "I thought you wanted to find a friend to come over and play with you." Mary: "I don't need a friend. I just need a you."
2/17/10 "Beth, you're wearing your sweater instead of your sweatshirt. Did you lose your sweatshirt?" "No, I just can't find it."
2/15/10 "Madeleine, you dropped a some of your cheese on the floor." "Oh there it is! I have a habit of losing my string cheese."
2/8/10 Time for Family Home Evening and Mary is in charge of leading of the song. She stood in front of us, straight-faced, silent and motionless for a solid minute while we looked at her, waiting. Then suddenly she yelled, "NOW!!" and threw both arms in the air and starting singing at double tempo. Beth taught the lesson, prepared on her own, without help or input. She explained, "Heavenly Father made all living things. He made them for us to have what we need, like a tree is a living thing and it can grow fruit and we need to eat the fruit. You can tell a living thing because it moves on it's own, it grows, and it eats and drinks. Madeleine, what is your favorite living thing?" Madeleine:"Dolphins." "Dad, what is your favorite living thing?" Dad:"Probably whale sharks." "Mary, what is your favorite living thing?" Mary: "Ice." Then Beth got our new hampster out of the cage and passed her around. "How can you tell that Cutie Pie is a living thing?" Mary: "It poops." '
2/5/10 Mary composed a song for me today. The lyrics went like this: "Oh mom, you stay up all night. You sleep all day. You're nocturnal..."
Mary: "Mom, how come when I'm sick you can kiss me, but everyone else has to stay away from my germs?"
1/31/10 Mary had a handful of pennies she was jingling around and she said, "My friend doesn't like to hold this kind of money. She says this kind makes her hands stink,"and then she whispered,"but her hands already stink." Then she came to me and quietly said,"I have a penny on my tongue," but when I looked in her mouth there was nothing there. "Are you sure you have a penny on your tongue?" I asked. "Well," she said timidly, "I did have one on my tongue but now it's gone." Yep. She swallowed it.
1/31/10 Coming from church today Beth was in a woeful mood and cried the whole way home. Even though the drive is very short her fussing and crying was really starting to drive us crazy. When she moaned, "I don't feel good." Mary quipped, "Yeah, you have a sickness called 'cry baby'."
12/30/09 While downtown to see the lights at Temple Square we stopped in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building to warm up for a minute. Beth started climbing all around the feet of an enormous bronze statue of Joseph Smith, poking her head out between his knees. Of course we made her get off right away. That night she went to lay down on her pillow and winced. Rubbing the back of her head she said,"I can't lay down because I hit my head on Joseph Smith's bottom."
12/30/09 After going downtown to see the Christmas lights we stopped at Denny's for some hot chocolate and a some dinner. Normally Beth complains of a stomach ache and won't finish her food even though she is still hungry. Since she started eating gluten-free she has been eating more and not complaining. After she polished off her bacon and eggs I asked how her tummy felt. She said, "It hurts - from being too full!!"
12/20/09 Beth started a gluten over Christmas break and we have been experimenting with all kinds of different gluten free foods. She had rice noodles for the first time today. She was fairly enchanted by the transparency and texture of the long, thin, elastic noodles. She exclaimed,"I can use my noodles to eat, or to string beads on, or to use as a fishing line!"
1/24/10 At the dinner table: Mom:"Mary, eat your dinner." Mary:"Is it good?" Mom:" It's really good." Mary:"I mean the little kid kind of good."(In that case, probably not)
1/23/10 Mary, while coloring in her Hobby Holly coloring book: "Can kidneys be brown?"
11/09 Beth: "I guess President Barrack Obama is doing a pretty good job, but I don't see what he did to get the Nobel Peace Award. One person can't make peace. It has to be individual choices to be peaceful. I mean, how does HE know if I'm fighting or not?!"
01/08/10 In order to stop the complaints of "I helped with laundry yesterday...," I explained to the girls that laundry is a never-ending fact of life. Even as you finish the laundry, the clothes you are wearing are getting dirty and already creating laundry for the next day. They seemed to get it because today when I asked them to take their clean clothes upstairs and put them away no one protested, but on her way out Beth commented, "The great part about being dead is THEN you don't have to do laundry."
11/30/09 The house is oddly quiet. Mom pauses, listens, and calls out, "Mary, what are you doing?" Mary replies, "You don't want to know."
11/28/09 The top of our new Christmas tree and the bottom of our star didn't really fit together, so I decided to forgo tradition and leave the star off the tree. When Madeleine saw the big silver bows I put on the top of the tree instead she was very put out. Despite my trying to reason with her she would not be persuaded to leave the star off. Finally she insisted, "There were no ribbons in the sky the night Jesus was born." ( How do you refute that? I used some clothes pins to rig the bottom of the star so it would sit on top of the tree. )
1/6/10 The girls are all on an antibiotic for the strep throat we got over Christmas break. Today while Mary was listening to the Mary Poppins soundtrack she said, "Hey mom, how about if you put a spoonful of sugar in our medicine to make it taste better?" Mom: "You know how your medicine tastes like pink bubblegum? The bubble gum part is like the spoonful of sugar." Mary: "Oh. Well, it doesn't taste like bubble gum. It tastes like wood."
1/3/09 Beth:"A girl in my class said that all kids her big sister's age are idiots, but that can't be true. God wouldn't make an idiot. He makes everyone special in their own way. If someone is an idiot it's their own fault."
11/2/09 Mary was taking a new dress out of the packaging it came in and she held it up and asked, "Mom, can this go in the dishwasher?" "You mean the washing machine? Yes, "I clarified, "But it's supposed to be for church, not for playing in." "What?" Mary asked, "You mean we're allowed to wear pink to church??" (Nearly all of her church clothes are pink:) I guess now that we're in school she expects uniform policy to be in place wherever she goes.)
11/4/09 "Mary, Daddy told me that you said he could have some of your Halloween candy whenever he wants to. That was VERY nice of you. You're such a good sharer." "Mmmm, sharing with friends is not so good, but sharing with Daddy is something special."
10/05/09 Our wonderful neighbors graciously watched our girls while Luke and I were out of town and Mary has been wishing she lived with them ever since. Today she said, "Mom, can we stay at Mrs. Jewlery's house again? It's fun to have a dog because he licks us every two hours."
10/06/09 Mary: "Brrrr, I'm cold. Can you turn on the the warm-conditioner?"
Madeleine and Beth were talking one night and I overheard this conversation; Madeleine: "If I could have one wish I would wish for the economy to improve. Then lots of people would be really happy." Beth: "If I had one wish it would be that we could always get along and never fight because that would make mom sooooo happy." Madeleine (wryly): "Don't you think we ought to get along WITHOUT a magic wish??" (No reply from Beth:)
9/22/09 Madeleine was reading a book on Animal Therapy and, looking at me with hopeful eyes and a little bit of an "I told you so" tone said,"Mom, people who have dogs are healthier than people who don't..."
9/21/09 Mary is suddenly very aware of vocabulary and keeps asking for definitions. "What's 'inspire'?" "What's 'ridiculous'? "What's 'impossible'? When she asked me, "What's 'useful'? I explained and then gave her a few examples. Once she understood, she came up with some of her own examples: "Your hair is useful cuz you can brush it, and your mouth is useful cuz you talk with it, and your eyes are useful cuz you see with them, but a nose isn't useful - unless you sneeze!"
9/15/09 Madeleine:" Mom! Today at lunch I ate all my lunch and then I just HAD to get dessert. They had white chocolate mackerel cookies!"
9/10/09 Mary, affectionately and emphatically: "Mom, you are plump!" (somehow the way she said it made it feel like a bit of a compliment)
9/09/09 As we were driving out of the circle I waved to a neighbor and the following conversation ensued: Mary:"Who did you wave at?" Mom:"Kristine." Mary;"Who is Kristine?" Mom: Kristine is our neighbor. You know, Morgan's mom." Mary:"You should just call her Amy." Mom: But her name isn't Amy, it's Kristine." Mary, nonchalantly: "That doesn't matter."
9/5/09 While I was serving lunch Mary suddenly exclaimed, "Daddy is the King Chef!" Beth paused for a second and then qualified that statement by adding, "of pizza breads."
9/3/09 Mary puts herself to sleep by twirling her hair around her fingers. More often than not, she wakes up with her hair tied in knots. As I was putting her to bed and saw her twisting her hair I said, "Don't make a knot..." She replied,"Oh, you know why I do that with my hair? When I do that I'm thinking, like, (putting one finger in her hair and the other on her chin, while looking up at the ceiling) um, should I go to a ball, or not?"
9/3/09 Beth: (sigh) It's such a shame to wake up all excited for school and then have no where to go." (Only four more days!)
9/3/09 Madeleine received a new outfit as a gift from a friend. We always have our girls wear a t-shirt under clothes that are sleeveless, so when we saw the tank-top shirt, we talked about trying to find a shirt to go under it. Madeleine said, "This is the only shirt I have that has spaghetti straps. All the other things I have without sleeves are lasagna straps."
9/3/09 We were at the Children's Discovery Garden today, playing in the Noah's Ark fountain. In the center of the fountain is wooden replica of Noah's ark,and there are bronze animals poking their heads out the windows of the ark. Most of them spray water out of their mouths. Madeleine was running around in the spray and exclaimed,"I just ran through llama saliva!"
9/2/09 Mary and I were swimming together in the neighborhood pool and she turned to me and said,"Don't worry if a shark chases us. My boyfriend will poke it with his sword."
8/29/09 Beth's new favorite word is "apparently." She uses it daily, both in and out of proper context. Yesterday Mary asked me to do something for her but I told her I couldn't right then because I was already helping her sister with something. Beth turned to Mary and commented, "Apparently mom is already being parently."
8/27/09 Madeleine:"Mom, is propane a kind of wine?" Mom: "No, propane is a kind of fuel,like gasoline." Madeleine: "Well then how come in The Sound of Music at the party that girl sings, 'I'd like to stay, and taste my first propane?' " (She actually says "champagne" for those who may not be up on their Sound of Music lyrics)
8/17/09 While sitting in traffic on I-15 Beth blurted with exasperation, "This is not a freeway. It's a stop-way!"
8/13/09 Beth:"I picked you this tomato from the garden. You might not want to eat it. It's pretty bumped. I used it to practice juggling."
7/29/09 I left my hot curling on the bathroom sink counter to cool. A few minutes later I heard Mary calling to me, crying in the bathroom. Sure enough, she had spied it there and couldn't resist trying to pick it up. She said, "I knew I shouldn't touch it because it would be hot, but I didn't know if it was hot or not so I touched it to see if it was, and it WAS hot." "Well Mary," I asked, (trying to contrive a lesson out of all of this)"When you knew you shouldn't touch it, but you did anyway, how did it feel?" Mary softly pouted, "It felt like getting bit by a stink bug!"
8/1/09 On our flight to Maryland Mary chose to alleviate some boredom by checking out the bathroom. The toilet lid was jammed up under a latch so that it couldn't be put down. While the toilet flushed Mary stared at the bright blue water swirling around in the stainless steel bowl and murmured appreciatively, "What a beautiful toilet!"
7/26/09 Beth: "Mom, what colors make green again?" Mom:"Yellow and blue." Beth: 'Well then how come my PINK Crocs turn my toes GREEN?"
7/25/09 Mary: "You are beautiful mom, but not when you're in your underwear."
7/24/09 Madeleine:"You have lots of pores in your armpit."
7/23/09 Beth:"I know something I learned in Kindergarten that I will never forget; don't mess with a house that stands on chicken feet!" (That was from a story that her teacher read to them often)
7/19/09 Tonight Mary said, "Mom, I've been watching my fingernails and this one is winning the race because it is going out ahead of the other ones."
7/10/09 Mary is aware that I am not really excited for her to grow up and "get big," as she likes to put it. She must feel a bit responsible for my feelings because while we were in the car, out of the blue, she said reassuringly, "It's OK mom, because I'm going to be cute for a long time."
7/03/09 Beth:"Mom, do you know how old America is turning?" Mom: "No, I'm afraid I don't know exactly." Beth: "I think it must be turning four, because all of the cakes I saw said 'Happy 4th'."
7/02/09 Beth gave me a hug and, with her cheek pressed to my cheek said,"I can feel your cells."
6/21/09 Mary eating lunch before leaving for church: "I don't like sandwiches. And do you know what I think of turkey? It's slimy."
6/21/089 Mary getting her shoes on for church: Mom: Mary, if you're going to wear those sandals that go between your toes you should take your tights off." "MOM! I'm bored if I take my tights off!!"
6/21/09 Mary getting dressed for church: "Mom, I'm insisting that all my dresses are too small - because I"M 4!!"
6/20/09 We were in the car today and Beth stated, "Mom, I think I have summer vacation sickness - I'm sick of it. I realized that I miss my friends and my teacher and I want to go back to school." "Yeah," Mary chimed in,"I miss Miss Kristie because SHE let us eat chocolate on the rug!"
6/9/09 Beth's chore was to help with the laundry, and after we loaded and started the washer she sat there for a minute watching the clothes swirl round and round. "I can see my dress," she exclaimed,"It looks like a fish swimming in circles."
6/8/09 Mary (wistfully):"Mom, I wish we could have a baby in our family." "Oh really, why?" "Because then me and the baby could wear same dresses and run around. But the baby couldn't run, just me. I'd run around the baby." (i thought it was funny how she assumed that if we had a baby it would undoubtedly be the dress-wearing kind.)
6/6/09 "Madeleine, why do you always pull away from me while I'm doing your hair? I can't reach you if you are so far away from me!!" "Sorry mom. I tend to migrate without knowing it."
6/6/09 I can't deny I felt a smidge smug as I did all of Mary's birthday shopping while she was with me and kept her none the wiser. Ahhh, everything done two weeks in advance, without making an extra trip to the store. Then one day last week Mary approached me and with wide-eyed excitement gasped, "MOM, there's a bag in the back of the closet and it has princesses in it, all of the princesses in it, and they're this big, and they have dresses on, and there's a movie and it's the same movie that I watched at Ellie's house!!" Then she leaned in closer and asked seriously, "Mom, are all of those things for my birthday?" What could I say except, "(sigh) Yes, Mary. They are for your birthday." Mary grinned and giggled and then gleefully assured me, "Don't worry mom. I won't tell anyone whose coming to my party what I'm getting for my birthday." (it's actually been kind of fun having her know. The anticipation has been killing her.)
6/4/09 "Beth, it's 9:30. What are you doing out of bed?" "Sorry mom. I was going to go to sleep but I kept forgetting to close my eyes."
6/02/09 On my bed this morning, Mary: "Mom, let's play ticklepotamaus." Mom:"How do you play that Mary?" Mary: "I'm the tickle and you're the potamaus."
6/01/09 I fixed Mary's hair in a "fancy hairstyle" today. After I finished Mary smiled demurely and softly said, "I'm happy at you mom."
5/30/09 Mom: Madeleine, what's the problem? Madeleine: (whimper, moan, sniff) I got hit in the head with a frozen waffle.
5/26/09 Beth: "At night sometimes I get scared but my butterfly light helps me feel better, because if I'm scared that wolves are going to come in my room I know that wolves don't like light so they won't come in if the light is on. If I'm scared that monsters are going to come in I think of butterflies and I know that a lot of butterflies could land on a monster and pull off it's fur so a monster wouldn't want to come in here. Butterflies can do anything.(contented sigh)
5/23/09 Madeleine: "I'm sorry mom but I knew Beth was doing something she shouldn't be doing so I had to use my strict voice."
5/23/09 Mary was telling me about how she is going to grow up someday and she said, "Then I'll be big and I'll be a mommy too. All the girls will be mommies, except Beth. I think she wants to be a daddy."
5/23/09 Madeleine, while eating her yogurt:" For a vacation I'd rather ride an elephant to a secret Luau where all the waiters are apes than go visit every major sports arena in the country."
5/20/09 (I hope no one thinks this is inappropriate. I couldn't help it) Mary and I were in the bathroom having a discussion about wiping. She said, "I don't know how to wipe. Daddies don't know either 'cuz they don't wipe. They have a little hose."
5/18/09 ( At the grocery store with Mary hanging off the side of the cart) Mom: Hold on tight Mary. Mary: I am holding on tight. As tight as a porcupine! (pause) How tight can porcupines hold on?
5/12/09 Today when Beth saw Mary playing with some of her Princess figures she complained, "Mom! Every time Mary decides she wants to play with one of my toys - Voila! It's like a magic trick- I never see it again!"
5/12/09 Our 4 year old niece was spending the weekend with us while her parents were away, and she and Mary were in cousin heaven. On Sunday night at 10:00 I went to check on them and found them both standing on Mary's bed, wearing bathing suits and what looked like a diaper underneath them. When I told Mary she had to take off the bathing suits and get to sleep she said, "But is it ok if I wear all my underwears at the same time? Because I have like 10 underwears on."
5/11/09 Mary: "A policeman came to school and put real handcuffs on us so we could see what they feel like. They feel like crabs."
5/11/09 Mary; "Ariel's prince is Prince Eric, but what's Sleeping Beauty's Prince again? Oh yeah - Prince Throw-up. (Prince Phillip)
5/5/09 Mary, while buckling her car seat;"What do sea horses even do?"
5/3/09 We has friends over for dinner tonight and their kids were cracking us up. I dished up the food a little early so it would cool off, but I was worried that it had cooled off too much and gotten cold so I said,"We can pop anything in the microwave and warm it up." Their 6 year-old son immediately responded with, "You can't pop ME in the microwave." During dinner my friend said to her three-year old daughter, "Please use your manners," to which her daughter replied, "My manners aren't feeling well."
5/3/09 After a battle over shoes that made us late for church and being carried into the chapel kicking and crying, Mary stood on the pew surveying the congregation. As she looked around she sighed, "Yeah, we've been here before - and it's soooooo BOOORING!"
5/3/09 Still standing on the pew, Mary slyly asked,"Mom, what would they do if somebody screamed REALLY loud in here?"
5/01/09n After our date last Friday the girls reported that Mary "cried for me for hours." The next morning I asked Mary why she cried so much and she explained, "Because you were gone too long and I thought you weren't coming back ever." "Mary," I soothed, "don't you know that we love you so much and we would never go away forever without you?" "Yeah," she agreed, "You wouldn't do that because then you would be like the bird on Aladdin who sings, 'just forget about love."
4/22/09 When I was up at school to pick up Mary I saw Madeleine out at recess so we walked over and said hi. She and her friends were jumping on each other and rolling each other around in the grass. When the recess monitor asked what kind of game they were playing Madeleine said," Oh, we're playing "Breakfast Burritos." That's where someone is the burrito and you have to catch them and try to roll them up."
4/22/09 Mary:"When I grow up I want to be a nurse, and a teacher - AND an astronaut. Do you know why I want to be an astronaut? Because astronauts get to wear diapers."
4/19/08 Beth:" I can't wait to fall in love, but I don't want to get married. Falling in love is the exciting part."
4/18/09 Last year when Madeleine heard I was planning to enroll Mary in the 3 year old pre-school class for the fall she said,"Mom, I really don't think Mary is ready for that. I have seen that class and those kids just SIT there." Well, lately Mary has been complaining that she doesn't want to go to school. Whenever I ask her why not she consistently complains, "Because, I don't like the part where we just have to SIT!" Maybe Madeleine had a point.
4/18/09 "Is Ellie's dad our Uncle?" "Yes Mary, Ellie's dad is your Uncle Seth." "Oh, so THAT'S why Madeleine always gives him hugs."
4/17/09 This morning we were running late so the girls took breakfast in the car with them. As I started to drive I noticed Beth didn't have her seat belt on yet. "Why aren't you buckled yet?" I asekd. "Oh, sorry mom," she replied, "I was too busy measuring my biscuit." (by her calculations it was 6 inches long)
4/6/09 Today at the park one of Mary's little friends wanted to show off how fast he can ride his big wheel. As he zoomed passed us Mary was considerably impressed and remarked, "He IS fast. He is a speed-dial!"
4/6/09 Yesterday Mary and Beth were looking at a picture of Taylor Swift in a low-cut, strapless dress and commenting, "Oh, that dress is inappropriate." Modest dress standards must have stayed on Mary's mind because that night as I leaned down to give her a kiss and my shirt opened a little bit she said, "Uh mom, your inappropriates are showing."
The other day I noticed scotch tape stuck all over the front of our entertainment center. I took it all off. The next day it was back. I took it off again. The third day I walked in to find Mary busily applying more scotch tape across the cabinet doors. "So you're the one!" I exclaimed. "Why are you putting tape all over the entertainment center?" She promptly replied, "For my entertainment."
Madeleine: "So I was just wondering, why are there red apples and yellow apples, but not blue apples? Red and yellow are both primary colors, so why not blue too?"
Mary got a little put out with me and gave me a really sassy "Duhhhh!" I immediately reprimanded,"Hey, I don't like that. It is rude to say 'duhh' to people and I don't want to hear it from you." "But mom," she argued," my friend says it to me all the time." I firmly replied,"I don't care what your friend says. I don't want you to say it. Just because someone else says it doesn't mean you have to say it too." Exasperated, she insisted," I already know that mom, duhhh!"
Today in the car Beth asked, "Mom, what are you going to do on Mary's birthday?" "Well," I answered,"Her birthday is in June so I haven't planned anything yet." "I mean, are you going to scream all day because she won't be little anymore?"
Yesterday I was making mashed potatoes and Mary came over to help. When she saw what I was making she said, "That's a good thing mom. I hear Higglytown Heroes love to eat smashed up potatoes." Then when I added some garlic she stated, "Yes, put some of that in, because you know girls LOVE garlic."
Madeleine was looking at pictures of Pres. Obama in a magazine and she said, "We were talking about it at recess and we decided if we could have a black woman who's a Mormon be president, that would be perfect!"( Somebody ought to convince Gladys Knight to run - she'd get the third grade vote for sure!)
I found Beth sniffling softly in her bed one night, with the American Girl doll catalog beside her. I asked what was wrong and she woefully explained," I was going to work really hard and save ALL my allowance and buy an American Girl doll but I can't. I'm too little!" "It's ok honey," I soothed. "It will take a long, long time to save up, but you can do it, if you really want to." "No I can't," she insisted. Then she really started crying and explained, "The book says the dolls are for girls 8 years and older and I'm only 6!!"
Last night Beth commented that her sister was being a little too "tempermonic." Madeleine noticed me trying not to giggle at the creative vocabulary and noted wryly, "That's going on the blog . . ."
Mary wanted to watch a little video on my computer and got a little impatient waiting for the computer to turn on. I explained, "it was alseep and now it needs a minute to wake-up." "Mom," she countered, "Computers can't sleep. They don't have eyeballs."
Mary was having a hard time understanding how something could've happened in our family before she was born. Our world does center around her, after all. Beth tried to explain that we were all already here before she came. It went something like this: "Madeleine was in mom's tummy and then she came out, and I was in Mom's tummy and then I came out, and you were in Mom's tummy and then you came out. Mom was one fat lady!"
Yesterday during "family job time" each of us were busy with our respective responsibilities while Mary kind of sashayed around. She sidled up to me in the kitchen and whispered, "Mom, don't forget to do my jobs." "ME, do YOUR jobs?" I asked. "No," she whispered, "EVERYBODY do my jobs." "Oh," I replied, " I have a good idea. How about YOU do YOUR jobs?" She leaned closer in and whispered, "Not so good." In the end, she did her jobs, by the way.
Mary has picked up the phrase, "Now what?" but she doesn't use it as a question. She uses it to add emphasis when she is ticked off. For example, "You're not in charge of me mom, now what!!" She almost always has her hands on her hips when she says it and is glaring daggers at me as well.
"Hi Madeleine, how was school today?" "Great! We got to have outside recess, so we played 'Evil Hedgehogs'."
"Mary, you need to put your pajamas away in your drawer." (with complete exasperation)" MOM, I already knew that truth!"
Madeleine: "If you really want to hear Mary laugh, tickle her under her clavicle." (If you really want to hear your mother laugh, use words like clavicle.)
I missed the beginning of this conversation but at dinner last night Beth was explaining to Mary how the chicken we were eating is different than we are. I tuned in to hear her say, "It's not like us because it doesn't have a brain like us." "Yeah," Mary added,"and it doesn't have a clavicle."
Mary and Beth sat at the kitchen table sorting through the loot from their class Valentine's parties. Beth offered Mary a pink lollipop and said, "You can have this Mary. It tastes like strawberry." Mary held out the red and white striped lollipop she was presently sucking on and said, "You can have this Beth. It tastes like pee."
We can tell Beth is enjoying learning about the human body in her science class. For example, I told her I was making her a quesadilla for dinner. She groaned, "I don't think I like those! I don't like all the cheese." "What are you talking about? I make you quesadillas all the time and you love cheese!" I exclaimed. "Well," she replied, "Your taste buds fall off and grow new ones every day, so I might not like cheese today."
Having three girls wear identical uniforms means I do a lot of tag checking for sizes. When I pulled a plaid jumper out of the laundry this morning and looked at the tag Mary asked, "Is it XXS? 'cuz I'm extra-extra small, and you're extra-extra big, and Daddy is extra extra extra extra extra extra big!
I had the following conversation with Mary when she invited me to play house with her: "Mommy, this is my baby." "What is your baby's name?" "Lemon." "That's a pretty name." "And this is my puppy." "What is your puppy's name? " Lemon." "Oh. Well, if your puppy is named lemon, then what is your baby named?" (Pause) "Lemonade!"
Mary (five minutes after leaving the house this morning): I have to go to the bathroom! Mom: You can go to the bathroom when we get to school. Mary: I can't wait that long! Mom: But you went to the bathroom at home. Mary: Going to school makes me have to go to the bathroom!
Every night before bed Luke reads a few verses of scripture to the girls and then we kneel down together to say a prayer as a family. Tonight as he closed the scriptures and said, "OK, time for everyone to kneel," Mary pointed her finger at us all and emphasized, "That's KNEEL, not PEEL!"
When we first moved to this neighborhood, a neighbor and I were on the same feeding schedule with our second babies. We spent a lot of quality time in the mother's lounge during church with our hungry baby girls. We've been close friends ever since, and our daughters are great friends too. Tonight Beth told me, "Ellie tried to prove that she has been friends with Jessie longer than I have, but I told HER I've been friends with Jessie since we were on mommy-milk!"
Whenever possible we try use "positive modification" with our kids. For example, we'll say something like, "I really like that song you're singing. Could you try singing it in a quieter voice?," instead of yelling, "Stop singing before I lose my mind!!" (although unfortunately I tend to do that too) Anyway, I had to smile today during church when Mary decided to occupy herself by smacking multiple sloppy kisses on Madeleine's cheek and Madeleine grimaced, 'Mary, I like when you kiss me. Just don't do it so WILDLY."
Madeleine and Beth were sharing crayons while working on some drawings. Madeleine waited impatiently while Beth used the color she needed. Beth empathized," I know, when someone has the color you need it's like having to go to the bathroom. You feel like, Ahhhh! Come on. I can't wait anymore!"
Beth learned in science that when you learn something a wrinkle, or bump forms on your brain where the memory of that information is stored. We have a rule around here about not using the word hate. Tonight Beth confessed to me she said it earlier. Then she said, "I try not to say it but it pops in my mind. I wish the bump in my brain for that word would go away!"
It's 9:00. Mary just got out of bed - again. As I tucked her in - again - she moaned, "I can't get to sleep." I argued, "You don't have to get to sleep. You just have to stay in bed!" She corrected woefully, "I DO have to sleep because I am tired, but sleep won't come to me!"
Beth: What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bear footed! I made up that up! Or else I heard it on a show . . .
Madeleine has been assigned Claude Monet for a "famous persons" report at school. The other night she commented, "I'd rather look at his paintings than read about his life. His life was just soooo tragical!"
Tonight during lullabies, Mary sang one line in a regular voice and one line in a silly voice. Half way through the last line of the song she gasped,"Oh my gosh! I was singing A PATTERN!"
While reviewing the school uniform policy with Mary I explained,"You can wear tights that are white, red, navy blue, or black" She corrected, "You can't wear black mom, or else all the kids will think you are poisonous."
Tonight Madeleine used the word "random" in her point of conversation and Beth asked for an explanation of the meaning of the word. Madeleine said, "It's when you just say something about whatever for not really any reason." To clarify Beth blurted, "Like . . .cheese,cow!?
The girls moaned in protest to one of Luke's instructions and he teased, "Ohhhh, is your dad just the meanest dad ever?" Mary replied, "No, not the meanest, the WEIRDEST!"
Today Beth informed me, "Whatever you do, don't take vanilla to the beach with you. You know, the kind that smells good and tastes bad? (vanilla extract) If it gets in the ocean turtles will get sick.
I was playing with Mary and she grabbed a big blanket, threw it over our heads, and yelled, "HIDE!" I'm kind of claustraphobic so I'm not a huge fan of the "blanket over you head" game and I asked, "How long do we have to stay under here?" She answered, "a couple whiles." The she paused, tore the blanket off, and yelled, "UNHIDE!"
Mary had been in our bed early one morning while it was still dark. When she started to leave, light from the hallway light spilled in through the opened door and she warned, "It's going to get sunny in here for a second!"
As Mary was giving me hugs and kisses I cooed, "Mary, you make me so happy." She added, "AND I make you so busy!"
Madeleine: "Look at the full moon!" Beth: "Whoa, that is bigger than Daddy's head."
Mary: "My room is a big mess! There are glops of tights and glops of shirts and glops of pants everywhere. You should see it!"
We read a bedtime story about the son of a fisherman. In the book it said the boy didn't mind the smell of fish and sweat, and we talked about how those smells didn't bother him because they reminded him of his dad. I said, "It's like when Daddy is gone and we sniff his shirts or his pillow to smell his cologne. It makes us think of him. " Mary added plainly, "And it stinks."
Mary climbed up in my lap, patted my cheeks and cooed, "Mommy, you are the cutuest - but not the strongest. Daddy is the strongest."
While driving home tonight Madeleine asked, "What does F.Y.E stand for?" "For Your Entertainment," I answered. Luke said, "I'm glad you answered that. To me it means, "Fiscal Year End."
Mary is learning about numbers and told her dad, " Zero and one are nuffin' but 88 is sumpin' "
The other morning Beth looked into the fish tank and upon seeing one of our aquatic friends belly-up she said, "Um, I think we have a fish situation."
Mary brought home an illustrated booklet with the words to the song,"Down By the Bay" in it. Madeleine picked up the book and asked, "Mary, do you want me to read this to you?" and Mary said, "it doesn't read, it sings."
At the playground Mary studied some teen-age boys playing basketball for a minute. Then she pointed to them and said, "Mom, those boys are 'dude' "
Mom: "Good night Sweetheart." Mary: "Good night Sweet Tomatoes."
Hey mom, what did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved!" (from Beth)
Last night Mary learned about echos. She went out to the garage with Luke and exclaimed, "Dad, when you talk in the garage, the garage talks back!"
Tonight we were reading a scripture that spoke of serving God. I asked the girls what they thought that meant. Madeleine said,"It means when you help other people you are helping Him. It's the same as helping you clean the family room. It's like the little blocks all over the floor are people and we have to scoop them all up into the bucket."
Beth was counting the change in her little purse. She laid out her dimes, then a nickel, and then proudly held up two big, shiny game tokens from Boondock's and declared, "These are the queens of my money!"
Talking of teen-agers, Beth declared,"I'm sure glad Madeleine is older than me. I want her to get to those years where you're not smart before I do!"
While reading some facts about cats Madeleine said, "Blue-eyed, white haired cats are often born deaf. So if I was a cat, I'd be deaf."
While in the "talking bathtub" we read stories, one of which talked of families belonging to each other forever. "Forever?" Mary asked, "Yes," I explained, "Daddy is your daddy and mommy is your mommy and Madeleine and Beth are your sisters forever and ever and ever." She answered, "i just want Daddy forever."
This morning Mary climbed on my lap and I wrapped a big, pink blanket around us, enveloping us both in fuzzy, pink folds. With only her head peeking out from the blanket Mary said, 'You are a talking bathtub and I am in the pink water."
Mary was watching me type and looked at me quizzically when I paused and looked upward at nothing. "I'm trying to think of the next word I want to write," I explained. "Oh," she replied," how about 'spinning'? That's a good word."
Mary was up in the night with a fever. I lay beside her in her bed and she asked, "Mom, can we hug each other? I'm freezing!"
Madeleine: I had to get my seat moved away from Alex because we were laughing too much. He wasn't trying to get me in trouble. It's just one of his talents to make people laugh by accident."
Mommy: "Whew, I got up early to exercise and now I'm pooped out." Mary: "You pooped outside!!??"
We passed a car accident on our way to school today. It sparked the following conversation; Beth: " When people get in car crashes, do they bash into you on purpose?" Madeleine; "Oh no, if you do that you get in BIG trouble. When people have car accidents they don't mean to run into the other car. If they did mean it, that would be a car-purpose."
Beth sighed,"I miss Daddy." Madeleine emphatically agreed, "So do I" Beth replied matter of factly, " But it is much harder when you're the one who's the Daddy's girl."
"Madeleine, do you like cinnamon toast?" "Yes." "Beth, do you like cinnamon toast?" "Yes." "Mary do you like cinnamon toast?" "My name is April." "April, do you like cinnamon toast?" "Almost."
Hey mom, why did the teacher have to wear sunglasses? Because her class was so bright!"
Madeleine: "Wearing a uniform isn't that bad. It's just that when you're grumpy it bugs you to look at plaid."
"Can you lift me up to the potty? This potty is 10 feet tall."
"Mary, use a kleenex - don't eat your boogers! "But I'm hungry and my tummy is hungry for boogers!"
Mom: I'm going to show you the house where Grandpa Dave lived when he was little". Madeleine: "Whoa! That has got to be REALLY old! Beth: "Yea, I'm surprised it's still there!"
Mary had a runny nose during our trip and was constantly sneezing and then saying, "I need a kleenex." She sneezed really hard while she was laying on a pillow. She felt her nose, looked at her hand, and then the pillow and said, "Uh, I need THREE kleenexes!"
When Madeleine's two year old cousin was crying, she consoled him by cooing, " Just stretch. Take a deep breath. Do some yoga if you need to calm yourself . . . "
Today Beth asked, "Mom, when you were little, did people smile when they had their picture taken?" "Yes, Beth. People smiled when they had their pictures taken." "Oh," she said, "And weren't all the pictures in black and white?"
A character in a book made a rude remark to her younger sister and Beth commented, "I don't think she is being very nice." Madeleine stated matter-of-factly,"That's because she's in those teen age years. That's when your frontal lobe goes blank."
"Mama" "Yes Mary?" "Mama" "Yes Mary?" "Mama" "Yes Mary?" "Mama" "Yes Mary?" "Mama" "What is it Mary??" "It's not a question. It's just - Mama." "Oh" "Mama" . . .
Mary asked for my sunglasses in the car, complaining that the sun was in her eyes. She was quiet for a few minutes and then blurted out,"This gum is stuck all over your glasses and I can't get it off. This gum is NOT funny!"
While the main character of a musical was singing a love song Beth commented, "She's not in love - she's married!" Madeleine explained, "After you get married you're still in love." Puzzled, Beth asked," So mom and dad are IN LOVE?"
While driving past a stand of aspen trees Luke exclaimed, "Girls, look at all the trees with white bark!" Beth replied haughtily,"I already know what kind of trees those are." "You do?" asked Luke," What kind are they?" Beth answered, "They're (pause) Trees With White Bark."
Beth lamented, "It seems like boys always get to be tougher than girls." Madeleine remarked,"from what I see, girl's are tougher with their minds, like they use their thinking better, and boys are tougher with their muscles."
Mary held out a lip gloss with no cover on it and said, "I can't find the lid to this. That's why I'm leaving it naked."
Tonight Beth exclaimed,"I had a great day mom, and I got a souvenir from everywhere I went. From Natalie's house I got beads, from the restaurant I got chop sticks, and from the swimming pool I got (pause) water in my ears!"
Today when Luke mentioned Grandma, Mary exclaimed, "Grandma is a great lady! But she is nice too."
Tonight I was leaning down to kiss Beth good night. She reached up and gently brushed my hair out of my eyes and said, "Could you please get those bangs cut? They bug me whenever I look at you."
I was wearing some light blue pajamas the girls gave me for Christmas. Madeleine smiled and said, "You look pretty mom." Beth looked up and agreed, "Yeah, you do look pretty - for a mom."
(*Warning! Don't read this if you are offended by references to bodily functions!) Today while she was using the potty Mary smiled up at me and exclaimed," I like poop!" and then she grimaced, 'But you can't eat it for lunch."
In our girls eyes, Luke is the basis of comparison for anything big and strong. Yesterday Mary was watching "Diego." The main characters were in a quandry when a large boulder blocked the path of their rescue mission. Diego shouted, "Help! We need to move this rock! What kind of animal is strong enough to move this rock?" Mary yelled, "A Daddy!" Today at the zoo Beth commented, "I know what the largest animal in the world is. It's a blue whale. It's even bigger than Dad."
Speaking of Madeleine's hermit crabs, she came to me this afternoon and announced, "I think Hermie and Shimmer are mating!" "What makes you say that?" I inquired. "Because, they're together all the time. They follow each other around the tank and they always want to be close to each other. It looks likes love to me."
When Madeleine was 5 I told her she could have a hermit crab for a pet when she turned 8. She counted the days over the next 3 years, and finally, on the day of her 8th birthday, she became the proud owner of two hermit crabs. She keeps them in her room. When I learned they are nocturnal I asked her if they were noisy and kept her up at night. She exclaimed, "Oh no, I like to lay in bed and fall asleep to the sound of their sweet scratching."
We have an incentive chart for Mary's potting training. She gets a star for each use of the potty and 7 stars equals one new lipstick. Each morning I ask, "Are you going to use the potty today?" and she replies, " Yes, and then I can get a lipstick." She caught me off guard yesterday when I asked, "Are you going to use the potty today?" and with a sideways glance she replied, "Yes, and then I can get a dog!"
Luke reached a point of slight exasperation and let out a heavy sigh. Mary asked, "Why do Daddies say 'Uuuuughhhhh'?
One night while I was out Beth inquired,"Dad, do you know how many Americans are afraid of ghosts?" Unfortunately he did not.
When I went to wake Mary up one morning she pointed to her nose and moaned, "my jammies are wet with pee-pee and my booger is stuck so I can't eat it!"